A Raw Cyclic Heartache (a poem)

It’s like a wave that washes upon me,

The painful sight of your face,

The precious memories we once had,

The past is all I could taste;

Grateful of all the memories

But attachment sheds these tears,

My fears come as projections

As I reminisce all of the years;

Loneliness becomes an enemy

When you fear your every thought,

Solitude becomes a prison

When you dig a torturous plot;

It takes work to leave the present

And it is truly effortless to live –

So why must I take this heartache

And give and give and give?

If it’s your pain I feel then I release you,

I beg you no longer to stay;

We’ve made mistakes,

Our souls, they ache,

But our minds no need to play;

Sleep tight, my little angel –

For you no longer exist;

Sleep tight, my little angel,

For it is time to rest in bliss.

Do you ever look to the same bright star in the sky?

Does your heart skip a beat when you remember the look in our eyes?

I’ve gone through this life alone, by myself but not for from home;

I’ve chosen to life in solitude bliss,

Sheltered by the love of what heaven truly is;

I’ve ventured through the purgatory scattered throughout my mind;

I’ve dined in paradoxes and evaded endless time –

When the stars fall and they’re in your view

And passed memories haunt the few,

May you always remember that I will always love you and the times we had,

I love the memories enough to take the good with the bad –

It is how you left us that now remains a bitter taste,

It is in the sleeping our when I’m haunted by your warm embrace;

Writing in darkness needs no light,

I need no vision to flow out all of my might;

While the clouds move and I speak to her beauty,

While my tears fall as gratitude is its duty;

I’ve always loved and admired but now I had to train to forget,

To be in the moment and not to venture into what is not yet –

When I wish for love I now hold my own embrace,

I find myself in nature and the tribe of the welcoming face –

The sun shines bright along with your infectious smile,

Memories then bring a grounding state as clarity stays for a while –

As every beginning comes to an end,

Nature’s flowers will eventually bloom again.

© 2020 Michael Angel Loayza Jr.

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