There are times when I attempt to look to the past in remembrance of those I’ve loved and lost; it’s as if pages have been burned, a memory of a face is all to exist; these memories have melted because the flame has burnt for too long – it’s an impossible task to feel as if the past truly exists, it is only when emotions run ramped. Memories and emotions keep the past alive and the openness to experience them depends on how strong the current visitation is. Things happen in the present that take us back to the past. Life is an endless flashback of sufferings from the past intertwined with happy moments, those too become sufferings when we choose to grasp rather than appreciate them; the pain and happiness or wishing for the pain to stop or for endless happiness, is a part of our ego; rarely is anyone ever truly grateful for happiness and pain – how could you know one or the other without the two: the grim brother and the blissful sister. How would a flower ever know when to bloom if the temporal seasons didn’t occur? Gratitude is the respect of all, which brings the past happily into the present moment without unnatural reflection; it is pure mindfulness. It’s being the ever-changing seasons and occasionally blossoming flower, only upon gracious privilege when the seasons are right, and then decaying, withering back into the ground and doing it all over again for eternity, in some form or another.
The longer you stay and play, the longer you will be lost; how sad…a push over with justifying causes – a false cause, a fraudulent life: an egotistical nightmare fearful of conditioning.
2019 © Michael Angel Loayza Jr.